This Time Last Year
Cecilia Manguerra Brainard
This time last year, I was recovering from
surgery.
For about seven years, I’d been
experiencing stomach pain which I had thought was acid reflux. I addressed it
by avoiding rich foods and by taking probiotics. Last year, over the holiday
season, the abdominal pain visited me again, only it was more intense, and I
had accompanying nausea and chills. I had to go to the Emergency Room. This medical
emergency came as a surprise because I’ve always been a healthy person, and the
hospital was an alien place to me.
The ER doctor confirmed something was
amiss but was uncertain about my condition. I was admitted into the hospital. Suddenly,
I was confined in a room, without the freedom I was used to, and with the
accompanying indignities of wearing a hospital gown that showed my behind, and
of having technicians poking me with needles and subjecting me to numerous
tests.
The lowest point of this story was when
the doctor talked of my liver and pancreas being acutely inflamed. I remembered
behind frightened and thinking I only had one liver and one pancreas.
Suddenly the concerns that had cluttered my mind -- laundry that needed to be done, Christmas shopping, other deadlines -- lost their importance. All these paled next to the idea that I could have been seriously ill. I remembered friends who had had cancer or some other illness and who had dealt with doctors and treatments. I recalled how they struggled to stay healthy, to stay alive, how they slowly lost ground, and how eventually some went quietly, while others did not.
Suddenly the concerns that had cluttered my mind -- laundry that needed to be done, Christmas shopping, other deadlines -- lost their importance. All these paled next to the idea that I could have been seriously ill. I remembered friends who had had cancer or some other illness and who had dealt with doctors and treatments. I recalled how they struggled to stay healthy, to stay alive, how they slowly lost ground, and how eventually some went quietly, while others did not.
I had to consider my mortality. I had to
ask how I would behave if I were in that situation. Suddenly time was precious,
something that must not be wasted. Suddenly my priorities changed; the material
and vain matters took the backburner; family and intangibles like peace and
happiness took the forefront.
For almost 24 hours I was not sure what
was wrong with me. It was as if my life was on a balance and it could swing
either which way. I prayed, and I tried to be brave for my family’s sake.
After a battery of tests, the team of
doctors had a diagnosis: choledocholithiasis, meaning a gallstone was stuck in
my common bile duct. They said the gallstone had to be removed from the bile
duct, and the gallbladder also had to go.
This diagnosis was a relief to me and my
family. While there were still risks, this was a far better situation than I
had imagined. There was still some medical drama that had to be overcome, but
basically, I had the two procedures and after a six-day stay in the hospital
was discharged. Suddenly, from being a sick person, I was fine and healthy and
could resume my life. I could go back to my deadlines and other mundane
concerns.
But in fact, my time in the hospital had changed
me.
I’m mortal, I realize that. I’m here only
for a little while. But during this short journey of mine, I will do my best
not to waste my time on irrelevant, petty matters. I will try not to fret and
worry, nor be upset, nor dwell on negative matters. I will avoid vexing people
and situations. I will try to use my talents the way I believe God wants me to.
I will serve my family and the circle of people that God has placed near me. I will try to be God's tool, broken though it may be.
It's a cliche, but true: Life truly is short, and every moment is a
gift that needs to be appreciated.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
~end~
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Tags: health, hospital, gall bladder, surgery
This is all for now,
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