I'm sharing a story that's part of my first short story collection, Woman With Horns and Other Stories. The collection is available in Kindle form http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004EPYZ4Y ~ Cecilia Manguerra Brainard
FRIDAY EVENING AT THE SEASHORE
by Cecilia Manguerra Brainard
Padre Zobel locked the rectory and,
leaving the center of town, headed toward the seashore. He was a young Spaniard
from the coastal village of Mojacar and he felt a special bond with the sea. It
made his soul echo; it was home.
He was an athletic man and as he
walked, he swung his arms around and shrugged his shoulders to loosen his taut
muscles. He had been sitting, hearing confessions for four hours and he was
weary. A zealous man, he suffered with his parishioners the guilt, shame, and
pain as they mumbled their sins in the dark confessional. True, she also felt
the sense of release, of joy, when their sins were absolved, but hearing
confessions wrung his spirit. Other priests had advised him not to be so
involved, but Padre Zobel could not help himself.
That Friday afternoon, another
thought preoccupied him. He was concerned about a girl from his parish. Ligaya
often attended the six o'clock Mass and Wednesday novenas to our Lady of
Perpetual Succor. In his two years in Ubec, Ligaya had never missed Friday
confessions until that day. He smiled to himself recalling her concerns: I was
distracted during Mass, I was late for the novena. He had often wanted to
assure her that her sins were hardly those at all. Such an endearing child, he
thought. But recently there had been mention of a man, and she seemed flustered
and withdrawn. Ligaya involved with a man — it was disturbing.
It was almost suppertime. The tropical sun
was dropping slowly and fishing boats that dotted the sea were returning home.
He picked up a blue starfish stranded on a sandbar and threw it into the water.
Then he sat on a coconut tree that had fallen from a past typhoon, and gazed at
Ubec's bleached sugary sand and the frothy waves that curled up to the shore.
He sighed, absorbing the
tranquility. In Mojacar, the beach had been rockier, more coarse, and the
Mediterranean had been rougher and colder. But it was the same tangy sea
breeze. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. He pictured Mojacar with its
whitewashed Moorish houses cascading down the hills. His home had been on the
highest hill, and from his bedroom window, he used to see the flattop roofs,
the ancient winding paths, and the sparkling sea.
When he opened his eyes, he saw the
figure of a woman in the distance. “Ana Maria,” he shouted, then wondered why
he had called out his cousin's name. The line the woman cut against the horizon
must have reminded him of his cousin —graceful, well-shaped, pleasing to the
eye.
The woman turned his way. She hesitated
and started walking the opposite direction. Then she stopped, turned, and
walked toward Padre Zobel. He was surprised and pleased that it was Ligaya.
“Good evening, Padre,” she said in
that soft trembly voice. he was
blushing.
“Ah, child, what are you doing
here?”
“Just walking and thinking, Padre.”
She stood there, eyes downcast,
with an uncertain air so he said, “Sit down. Come, sit down.”
Her skirt rustled as she sat on the
log beside him. Her back was straight, her hands folded together like those of a
schoolgirl.
“Walking and thinking,” she
repeated. She had a sprig of sampaguita flowers in her hair and the sweet scent
filled the air around them.
“Were you sick today, child?”
She shook her head. “No...well...I helped Mama with the baking. The
Mayor has a dinner tomorrow and the tortas and the mamons are tedious to make.”
“Ah, I have been worried. You have
never missed Friday confessions.”
She blushed once more, her bronze skin
truning a deep coral hue. She stared at her bare feet and wrapped her arms
around herself. She took a deep breath, shivering slightly, and started to say
something by hesitated.
“Something is bothering you?” he
asked, feeling protective. How very much like Ana Maria's her mannerisms were. Ana
Maria used to blush and hide her face behind her fan when embarrassed.
“Do you know what my name means,
Padre?” Ligaya asked.
“Joy, is that right?”
“Yes, but I have never felt more
joyless in my entire life,” she whispered with pain in her voice.
She looked forlorn, so helpless,
and he felt moved. “You had mentioned a man. Is it because of him?” he prodded.
She did not answer but studied her
feet as they poked and dug into the white sand. Her silence gave him a sense of
dread. He knew that her mother, a widow, was busy with her catering business.
“Perhaps there is no one to confide
in,” Padre Zobel said. “If you are involved...that is, sometimes it happens
that a girl finds herself —”
He hesitated and she looked at him
questioningly. “That is, a girl may be in a difficult situation and not have
anyone to turn to.”
“Difficult, Padre?”
“That is, with child.”
Her head jerked up, her eyes
widened as she stared briefly at him. “He doesn't even —” then she stopped,
lowered her gaze, and gave a soft laugh. She shook her head and stared ahead. He
could see her perfect profile and the dark hair in a bun with the star-shaped
flowers woven in. It was a lovely face; in a few years this child would be a
beautiful woman.
Far away the sun touched the sea
and the sky was splashed with red and purple. A solitary boat sliced across the
horizon. The enchantment of the moment brought another memory to Padre Zobel — Ana
Maria in the deep water with seaweed entangled around her legs. He had been a
champion swimmer and brashly he swam the choppy water to help his cousin. She
had flung her arms around his neck and he had removed the snakelike vines. Ana Maria
had clung on while he swam back to the shore.
Ligaya's voice brought him back to
the present. “In a way I am deeply involved.”
“Yes?” he asked, but she became
quiet. He grew embarrassed for having brought up such an intimate matter. But
it happened often: young girls getting pregnant; rushed marriages. Often the
girls were sent to another town until the child was born. Then the baby was
raised by relatives or given to an orphanage. This occurred all too often and
he could not dismiss this possibility even with Ligaya. Why, Ana Maria had
gotten involved with the English merchant who fortunately had been willing to
marry her.
“He has possessed me,” Ligaya said.
She put her palms together as if in prayer. “I think about him constantly. When
the cock crows at dawn and I awaken, he is on my mind. At the market or while
polishing the floors, I think of him. Always, I struggle to put him out of my
thoughts, but I cannot help myself.”
Ah, a young girl's infatuation,
surmised Padre Zobel. He wanted to smile, but appearing serious and choosing
his words, he said: “These feelings are normal. One must pray. Chastity you
understand is a virtue. If the boy loves you, he will respect your wishes.”
She hesitated. “He is...the problem
is...” then sighed deeply. She bent over and removed the tortoise shell comb
from her hair. Long hair tumbled to her waist. The tiny white sampaguita
flowers were almost blinding against that mass of black hair.
Turning, she fixed wide somber eyes
on him. A tender wisp of hair blew across her face. “Have you ever felt so
passionately about someone?” she asked.
Her words startled him but he
caught himself and decided to best way to guide this young girl was to be
honest.
“The young have intense emotions. I
loved once, yes, but God called her to another life, and I, to mine. Continue
praying. Say the rosary and attend the novenas. God will give you strength.”
Ligaya cocked her head to one side
and with a slanted smile said, “I stopped praying because of him. I think of
him and wonder how his mouth would feel against mine. Would his lips be soft,
or would they feel like the back of my hand?” She brushed the back of her right
hand against her lips and closed her eyes slowly. “I wonder how his kiss would
feel. I have never kissed a man before. I
wonder how his body would feel against mine.”
Padre Zobel had never heard such
passion and he felt an odd sensation in the pit of his stomach. “Perhaps,” he
suggested, “marriage is the best answer.”
“He is not free to marry.”
Ah, he thought sadly, at least in
Ana Maria's case, the man had been unmarried. “Does this man know about your
feelings?”
She shook her head. “No, no, he
doesn't know.” Before he could say anything, she rose and said, “I must go.” Then
she departed, leaving his soul with strange echoes.
Padre Zobel studied the figure
walking away, her waist-length hair flowing around her. There was just enough
light to see the woman's silhouette against the dying horizon. Padre Zobel
caught his breath — what will happen to her, he wondered. He sat there,
pondering her, even as darkness came.
~end~
Read also:
- Novel Excerpt from The Newspaper Widow: The Old Mansion Near the Plaza by Cecilia Manguerra Brainard
- Novel Excerpt from Magdalena: Winning Hearts and Minds (1967) by Cecilia Manguerra Brainard
- Fiction/short story: Manila Without Verna by Cecilia Manguerra Brainard
- Fiction/short story: Flip Gothic by Cecilia Manguerra Brainard
- Fiction/short short: The Turkish Seamstress in Ubec by Cecilia Manguerra Brainard
- Fiction/short story: Romeo by Cecilia Manguerra Brainard
- Fiction/short story: 1943: Tiya Octavia by Cecilia Manguerra Brainard
- Fiction/short story: The Black Man in the Forest by Cecilia Manguerra Brainard
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