TRAVELS (and more) WITH CECILIA BRAINARD: Philippines: Rogelio Braga Writes About Ferdinand Marcos and Dovie Beams

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Philippines: Rogelio Braga Writes About Ferdinand Marcos and Dovie Beams

My Guest Blogger is Rogelio Braga, a Filipino playwright, essayist, and fiction writer. He is the author of the novel, Colon (Balangiga Press). He shares with us a satirical piece, written in Tagalog, about the love affair of Philippine Dictator Ferdinand Marcos and the American actress Dovie Beams back in 1968-1970.

Braga published this funny and outrageous piece in his Facebook site but the post was removed because "it doesn't follow the Facebook Community Standards." I invited Braga to post his work here as my Guest Blogger. Thanks to Rogelio Braga for being my Guest Blogger.

Here it is in Tagalog.

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Maliit Ang Titi ni Marcos, Mga Bes, Kalokah! Help!
by Rogelio Braga

Bes, may chismax akong bongga sa hero mo!

Alam mo ba na maliit lang ang titi ni Marcos? Yes, ito ang isang bagay na ipinagkait sa atin ng nakaw na libing kahapon: nawalan tayo ng chance masilip kung umuumbok ba ang titi ni Marcos sa liit at malaman na rin natin kung totoo nga ang claim ni Dovie Beams. Maliit lang daw ito kaya chinuchupa na lang siya ni Dovie Beams in aide of KY Jelly maitawid lang ang kangkang for the night. Pero huwag ka teh magaling daw ang dila ni Marcos kasi kaya nitong bigyan ng multiple orgasm si Mareng Dovie. 50ish na noon si Kuya Hero at late 30s ang hitad.

Speaking of Mareng Dovie, kabit ni Kuya Hero si gurl. Binilhan niya ng dalawang mansiyon: isa sa San Juan at isa sa Mandaluyong sponsor ng Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas. Winner ang San Juan mansion, bes. Naglalakad sila dito ng hubo't hubad, nagkukuwentuhan sila kahit jumejebs si Marcos. Dito rin sila nagpapalitan ng bulbol lalo nang umalis si Ate Dovie for States. Dito rin sila nagre-record (voice dahil obviously wa pa ang smart phone noon) ng kanilang mga halinghing, kuwentuhan bago, pagkatapos, at sa pagitan ng kanilang mga kantutan. Wantosawang kantutan ni Marcos at ni Dovie Beams sa banyo, sa sala, sa piano, sa kusina. Bet ni Kuya Hero na pakantahin (literal itey ha!) si Dovie ng Pamulinawen at Acercate Mas bago ang royal kangkang sa royal bed courtesy ng Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas.

Keri naman daw ang kangkang with Kuya Hero basta bet mo ang role play. Perfect na pinapa-role play ni Kuya Hero si Ate Dovie bilang si Elena, ang gf ni Kuya Hero na nategi noong panahon ng Hapon. Kailangan kering-keri sariwain ng acting mo alaala ni Elena gurl habang nakahubad ka at nagde-deliver ng lines mo. Btw, bet ni Kuya Hero ang to play around with his camera. So, dapat game ka magpa-selfie ng hubad: nakabukaka hanggang sa mag-hello ang pukelya mo, nakatuwad kita butas ng puwet mo with the burnik, nasa gilid ng kama, sa piano.

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Keri mo dapat ang mala-Fifty Shades na fetish ni Kuya Hero. Puta ka heto offers: dalawang mansion sa Manda at San Juan, 10K US dollars na pang-shopping sa Hong Kong, south sea pearls, kantot sa presidential palace sa Baguio with Fabian Ver as your protection against the prying ears and eyes of Meldy's Blue Ladies, 250K monthly budget sa food at hatid sundo ni Kuya Dado, driver-slash-crony ni Kuya Hero, kikilitiin pa ang tinggil mo ng dila ni Marcos, Hollywood film entitled 'Ang Maharlika' with Paul Burke as leading man--producer mo ang Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas with initial budget na 5 million dollars. Kiki mong may mga pangil choosy ka pa?

Henewey, ispluk ni Mareng Dovie na natapos ang lahat ng bonggang momox nila ni Kuya Hero nang malaman ni Meldy ang krimen. Takas palabas ng Pilipinas ang gaga with the help ng US Embassy. At ang bruha, may dalawang farewell gifts pa na iniwanan sa Pinas: ang sex tape nila ni Kuya Hero at ang kanyang famous hugot line: "That’s the trouble with love. You don’t know if it’s real until it’s over." Na-inlove ang gaga kay Kuya Hero na puta matapos ang election, deadma na siya kay Dovie at sa pangakong pelikula, balik kay Meldy. Paasa lang pala. Putang ina kailan ba ile-legalize din ng Supreme Court ang paglilibing ng buhay sa mga paasang fuccboi sa bansang ito? Asa na lang tayo mga beshie.

A fuccboi Marcos will always be a fuccboi Marcos. Sorry, Ate gurl Dovie. I feel you, seriously. Hugs.

At least mayroon tayong fuccboi hokage na nakabaon sa Libingan ng mga Bayaning magaling sumupsop ng mamahaling pukengkeng ng 'Kana na imported mula Hollywood, sponsor of course ng Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas.

O, siya, move on na. Hanap na ng sugar daddy na fuccboi hokage level na may-ari ng Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas.

Reference:

Rotea, Hermie. Marcos' Lovey Dovie. 1984: Liberty Publishing (gagah wala nang kopya kasi binili lahat ng Blue Ladies ni Meldy ang book)

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The pictures were grabbed from the Internet

Tags: Philippines, Dovie Beams, Ferdinand Marcos, politics, sex scandal, dictator, Filipino, Rogelio Braga, Marcos burial

This all for now,

Cecilia

Cecilia Manguerra Brainard

Cecilia Manguerra Brainard's official website is ceciliabrainarddotcom. She is the award-winning author and editor of 22 books, including When the Rainbow Goddess Wept, The Newspaper Widow, Magdalena, Selected Stories, Vigan and Other Stories, and more. She edited Growing Up Filipino 1, 2, & 3, Fiction by Filipinos in America, Contemporary Fiction by Filipinos in America, and other books.. Her work has been translated into Finnish and Turkish; and many of her stories and articles have been widely anthologized. Cecilia has received many awards, including a California Arts Council Fellowship in Fiction, a Brody Arts Fund Award, a Special Recognition Award for her work dealing with Asian American youths, as well as a Certificate of Recognition from the California State Senate, 21st District, and the Outstanding Individual Award from her birth city, Cebu, Philippines. She has lectured and performed at UCLA, USC, University of Connecticut, University of the Philippines, PEN, Shakespeare & Company in Paris, and many others. She has served in the Board of literary arts groups such as PEN, PAWWA (Pacific Asian American Writers West), among others.