I've posted some Christmas jokes after the pictures of Seymour.
Dear Readers, I have to finish my Christmas shopping and get ready for Christmas Eve dinner!
Christmas Jokes (for Adults)
What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
Q: What do you call an elf who sings?
A: a wrapper!
Q: Why is Christmas just like your job?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it soot's him
Q: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
A: Because the present's beneath them.
Q: What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
A: Tinselitis!
Q: Why is Santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
A: Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.
Q: Why doesn't Santa have any children ?
A: Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: What does One Direction and my Christmas tree have in common?
A: They both have ornamental balls.
Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses
Q: Which Limp Bizkit song did the Elf listen to while building toys?
A: He did it all for the cookies!
Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: Why the Christmas tree can’t stand up?
A: It doesn’t have legs.
Q: What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
Q: What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
A: Limp Bizkit
Q: Name the child's favorite Christmas king?
A: A stocking.
Q: What do you call a brothel in the North Pole?
A: a workshop
Q: What is the popular Christmas carol in Desert?
A: Camel ye Faithful.
Q: What part of the body do you only see during Christmas?
A: mistletoe.
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.
Q: What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve?
A: A pack of batteries which at the bottom says "toy not included".
Q: What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?
A: Santa stopped at 3 ho’s.
Q: What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve ?
A: They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies ?
A: Snowballs.
Q: Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?
A: Because the snowblower was coming down the block.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite
Q: What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?
A: Silent Night
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Frosted Flakes
Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.
Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men?
A: Even the small ones give satisfaction
Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
RUDEolph.
Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him!
How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!
What do you call a blind reindeer?
I have no eye deer
What do you call a lobster that won’t share its Christmas presents?
"Shell-Fish"
What do you call a scary reindeer?
A cariboo.
What do you call an incomplete Christmas sentence?
A santa clause
What do you call a wet animal?
"A reindeer"
What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you..
Q: What goes "oh oh oh"?
A: Santa walking backwards
And more from this site:
courtesy of: http://www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/christmasjokes/christmasjokes.html
Read also:
tags: Christmas, jokes, pitcher plant, cannibal plant
All for now (I've got to finish my Christmas shopping!)
Cecilia
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